A Trilogy of Rage and Character. Part III (The clouds)

I have reached a point of utter surprise when he said that his presence here is not about driving a 100% result but is about initiating a change inside all of us. Won’t we all? That was mentioned after setting the strict rules of not entering after him or having water. No Surprises. The surprise here to me was the will to change or affect. The inflicted system is usually about creating other soldiers for it and running after the world in a materialistic chase of vanity. Forgetting about one’s own humanity and muse is a must to be an effective gear in the machine. He says if you get the best score without having an internal change then you have failed miserably. I agreed in amazement. What is he doing here between the cogs and the funny men? It was obvious the system has taken control from the illogical regulations he said but one can feel a slight light inside like the white ripples of the moon on a black sea.

He speaks of ethics and morality on a humanistic level. He speaks of believing in yourself and also believing in the rules. Sad. Eventually before I leave I’m left with the knowledge that despair is not something one should reach, that if hope leaves, it will always leave a rippling white light.

 

A Trilogy of Rage and Character Part II. (The funny man)

He gives out a light air into the conversation or rather the lecturing. He tries to keep the purple cloud of negativity outside his soul and the context of the gathering. His optimism is incredible. Is he a cog that tried to escape with the make believe poor sense of humor and bad classic jokes? I bet he is deeply embarrassed by the ridiculous misinformation he just said. He tries to escape the ridiculousness with mere exaggeration of facts to condescend his mistake.

He systematizes the rules that we should follow to finish the course safely. Why systematize? Why reach afar of your humanity? Your brain has a chaotic way of thinking, there is no system in one’s train of thought, you go as random as from the blank infinity of the universe to how a cold bottle of whiskey feels to how “Ramble On” is such a great name for a song. This randomness can lead to utter chaos, so you overcome it with organization. But is it organization or is it prison and sadness? In any case it’s a successful method in the education system so as to keep the oily machine going without any true intent of passing on a real experience of thought.

It’s horrendous! He stretches the sentence longer with a one word descriptive exaggerational joke! I have nothing against a sense of humor, i’m actually a big fan but I hate bad taste. A person seems to be having a problem that the Funny man doesn’t want to handle right now, so he responds with alienating rich with humor replies in between the conversation (yes that’s what I choose to call it now. Conversation.) with us.His system is filled with crippling rules that my poor mind probably won’t keep due to my short term memory loss that had occurred due to my intense drug consumption. He can talk for long stretching mindless hours about a single sentence or even a word and when there’s nothing to say he gracefully consolingly shifts with the topic to keep talking till he has reached satisfaction. His continuous flow of ranting about mistakes is interesting and momentarily gripping. See he has reached a level of knowledge that is far far beyond anyone else in the room engaged in the conversation. Our starts are merely out of being helped out or making the funny man smile. To him his level of genius is beyond any human present, no one can match him or destroy him or challenge him if he puts his mind to it. We know nothing, he knows it all. A seed and a tree. An awkward eye contact and a deep look of love. A shoe and God. Justin Bieber and Freddy Mercury. A tomb and a crib.

Cigarette break.

An actual break now, a chance to continue the mindless blabbering outside and for us to enjoy a moment out of the system given to us by the system…. Back and late five minutes, without the internal fear of an ill doing. A rebellious act. Yes it can be that small. We’re asked to imagine living in a 1 meter width street. I suppose it feels like your world is so tight and congested , an illusion of imprisonment or somehow freedom. You’d be tempted to cross just because it’s so small, a place that urges you to explore every single thing in it due to it’s compacted size. If a rule is passed on or a goal is put on for everyone in the street, being the cozy place it is people with automatically search and destroy. As I sit, I’m visited by “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” as he questioned what he was doing. Was it a real job he’s doing or did he got caught up in a drug frenzy that led him here? Is it something real that we’re all doing or did we get caught up in all the things we “should” do due to it’s societal significance and meaningful (on the shallowest of levels) virtue? Is the funny man really trying to send a certain point here or is it imperative to fill the full time allowed, for him to feel an experience of hard work in his subjective thinking? You realize the emptiness.

After hitting the toilet filled with curvy pubic hair and coming back about to leave, I realize one thing. Here’s the thing about the system; it’s smart enough to know that it needs to give humans more leisure time. If it didn’t have to, it won’t. So it gives them this gap or break or holiday. The cogs and the potential cogs find it an experience of freedom and it fulfills them. The funny man along with the gathering now realize that they should enjoy a well deserved break.

I’m leaving here as neutral and as listless as I came in, I will not participate in this treat for the cogs to keep them going. To them I’m not happy,I’m emotionless, I’m a freak, an abnormality, I’m dead.

A Trilogy of Rage and Character. Part I ( Cog information – An experience of disgust)

– It’s agonizingly hard to extract any learning experience from a cog in the system, except an experience of devastating sympathy and disgust.

– The cog’s goal is not to teach us or pass on knowledge, maybe a little to be fair, but the overruling emotion is that of challenging us, testing us and to see us feeling threatened and pressured. We end up fearing punishment or seeking a metaphorical humanly insufficient reward. A reward of credit passed on or a reward of getting out of here. (If one is still here)

– If one does not overlook the cog’s ignorance and brutal institutionalization and anti-humanistic sentiments, one will be miserable. That is if one understands the system. If one does not understand and forgets why he is here, which is to derive or gain a new experience then the system has already taken control. Later on his transformation into a similar cog, like old and new generations of many teachers or authoritarians, is inevitable, expected and destructive in it’s essence.

-Is it like Robert Bersson said? Does this knowledge make you superior? Does it make you god? Does it make life useless, chaotic and painfully small and ends up with taking it away?

Maybe.